Through An 'Old Timer's' Eyes
By Howard 'Mac' McDonald

"Shine on, shine on, harvest moon up in the sky."

That's the first line of an old love tune and if you were outside at night last week, you must have seen the harvest moon. It was so big and bright that you felt you could reach right up and touch it.

I don't know what effect it has on the young lovers of today, but when I was courting it sure gave me inspiration.

This time of year also brings forth a multitude of things that are good to eat. My favorite it the Potter County potato harvest.

One day last year, my wife and I returned from a trip downtown to find a 50-pound sack of Potter County red potatoes sitting by the door. We had no idea how they got there, but my wife suspected the Potato Fairy.

Anyhow, the first batch was turned into the fluffiest mashed potatoes I've ever had. Next, we baked some. Then came fries and you can't imagine how good the ham and scalloped potatoes turned out. Later came potato soup.

About two weeks later, we were at the Cabin Kitchen when Margie Malizia and Gary Griffith walked in. After a few minutes of casual conversation, Margie asked, "How did you like the potatoes?"

The mystery of the Potato Fairy was solved.

Most of the snowbirds have loaded up their RVs and headed for the Sunshine State. They miss the beauty of our Indian Summer and the spectacular fall colors. With the hurricane season hanging on, I would say they are gamblers.

The sporting goods companies all have their catalogues out. They carry a lot of merchandise for kids, but no bullet-proof vests so far. With all of the violence in our schools, how are we going to protect our children?

Same old story on the election scene: mudslinging at its best. The real namecalling will get hot and heavy down the stretch. That is some mess we have in Congress. I don't believe that, in my lifetime, I will ever see our country get back to the values set by our Founding Fathers. Why are there no comments from the Moral Majority about the scandal over the congressional pages? How can they condone the sexual harassment these young people have been put through?

Soon we reach the time to turn back our clocks. I haven't figured out what advantage mankind gets from messing with the time. If you want an extra hour of sunlight in the summer, just get up an hour earlier. Big Brother has to let us know he is in charge and watching.

The gas company is tearing up everyone's yard up where I live. It seems to me their timing is a little off with the heating season just arriving.

The powers that be say that in about 30 years, the Social Security fund will be in big trouble. They want to privatize it so they can get their hands on the funds now. I am a firm believer that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. We're spending $2 billion a week in Iraq and Afghanistan. If one month's spending there were put in the Social Security cash register, it would last for the next 100 years.

The Amish handled their tragedy quite well. They must have strong faith, as they forgave the killer of their children and even attended his funeral. My heart still aches for those little children and I do not have the capacity to forgive him. I hope he spends an eternity in Hades.

Last week we came across a clipping about my great-great aunt Looie Reynolds when she turned 100. Aunt Looie and Uncle Willie lived right up the road from our house. They had the only telephone in the neighborhood so their house was busy. One of my chores was to make sure they had two buckets of fresh spring water sitting on their sink every day. I was always handsomely rewarded with her cookies -- the best ever made. The day of her party I was in a quandary because I was broke. My dad had just returned from a hunting trip and brought back a 100-pound sack of potatoes. When my mom opened the bag, a large potato fell out. I scrubbed it, wrapped it in tissue paper and gave it to Aunt Looie for her birthday. The frail old lady gave me a big hug. I don't know if she ever ate the potato.

The preacher mentioned the Pearly Gates the other day, which reminded me of a joke: These three guys showed up at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The first guy said he came home early from work and smelled cigar smoke. He ran all over the apartment, but couldn't find the other guy.

"I live on the 10th floor and I looked out the window and saw this guy coming out the door, buttoning his shirt," he continued. "I knew that was him, so I pushed the refrigerator out the window and it landed right on top of him. Then I knew I'd get the electric chair, so I leapt to my death."

The second guy told St. Peter that he had been sick and was coming out of the doctor's office on the first floor when a refrigerator dropped on him.

St. Peter asked the third guy how he got there. He replied, "Darned if I know. I was sitting in this refrigerator smoking a cigar."