Through An 'Old Timer's' Eyes
By Howard 'Mac' McDonald

Sometimes I amaze myself by the way I have learned to use a computer. Not enough oldtimers bother with these gizmos and they don't know what they're missing.

On a scale of one to 10, I might eventually get far enough up the ladder to get to two. I do know how to turn the thing on and off and I can get to email and the Internet.

I saw a TV commercial from Ford Motor Company that showed this airplane landing and a Ford pickup sliding out the back door. The truck used its brakes to stop the Fairchild C-123 Provider.

When I was in the Strategic Air Command in Missouri, I was assigned to a C-123 until the Air Force transferred it to Vietnam. That commercial stirred up a lot of memories so I went on the Internet and found all kinds of stuff about the C-123.

One of the listings showed a Fairchild for sale and when I clicked on that, I about fainted. The serial number was 54-681. That was the same plane I flew on!

What a small world it is, after all. Hidden away in the dark areas of our brains are memories that not completely lost. Someone will say something and up will pop that old memory.

Some of these memories are good ones and they make you happy when they resurface. The ones that are not so good we put back into that bad memory file and hope we never think of them again.

Old people sometimes have a hard time remembering things. This old gentleman was sitting on a bench next to the sidewalk, crying, when along came this younger man. He stopped and asked what was the matter.

"Well, I'm 85 years old and I am married to a beautiful young babe," the old guy said. "We have a nice home, plenty of money in the bank, two Cadillacs and live in a nice neighborhood."

"So, what's wrong with that?" the young fellow asked.

The old guy sobbed. "I can't remember where I live!"

Telemarketing is a really big business and one that is staffed with some pretty crazy people. They always seem to interrupt you while you are eating your supper.

A lot of the telemarketing comes from outside of the country. Their accents give them away.

Most of the elderly have a hard enough time to understand people who speak without an accent, let alone figure out what someone from India is saying.

I know there's a way to stop these calls, but it takes time. When you are hiding from the undertaker, time is very valuable.

The other evening some guy selling life insurance called me. After his sales pitch, I told him that I was interested. Next, I asked him if I qualified at the age

of 94. I wonder why

he hung up. The least he could have politely done was to say "no."

Breaking old habits is tough to do. Smoking seems to be the hardest. I guess when you get nicotine in your system it will haunt you forever. I have a habit that gives me a lot of grief and that is eating. I cannot think of one food that I dislike. Being a diabetic, it is important that you watch what you put in the old piehole.

I hate the word diet and if I was powerful enough, I would have it removed from the English language. I know a guy who went on a diet where all you eat is vegetables and drink wine. He said he lost ten pounds along with his driver's license.

I constantly walk into a room and can't remember why. But for some reason I think there might be a clue in the refrigerator.

Some people are creatures of habit and the ones who work at McDonald's are no exception to the rule. I stopped the other day and all I wanted was a small order of fries. I told the girl and she said to me, "Would you like fries with that?"

Remember, if you can, to be careful crossing the street and eat your veggies (but lay off the