Through An 'Old Timer's' Eyes
By Howard 'Mac' McDonald

If you were born on this date in 1990, you are now old enough to buy cigarettes.

The government has made a half-hearted effort to get rid of this cancer causing product by hammering it with taxes, but very few people quit because of expense. The middle class (what remains of it) and the poor will give up necessities to support their habit. The first item on their shopping list when they go to the store is cigarettes . Food is in second place.

If you have ever been to a gambling casino you will find the gamblers puffing away. These folks really live on the edge as they gamble away their lives while they gamble away their money.

Here in the good old USA you can do just about any thing you want to do and if you don't want to smoke it's nobody's business but your own. That's what freedom is all about.

Many a young man got his start on cigarettes when he was in the service. When the Sergeant would give the troops a break from marching, he would say, "light up if you have them." The more smokers you had, the longer the break would last. The next day there would be more smokers. This is not so today. To be "Army Strong," smoking is not on the agenda.

One of Emporium's landmarks may be restored. The Homestead Hotel has been sold and the rumor is that the new owners may repair it and open it up. I have some good memories from that place and I hope that I am around to see it rise from the ruins and become the Phoenix of Plank Road Hollow. Stranger things have happened.

Rumors, rumors and more rumors. This information that I am about to pass on came from the information headquarters at the Cabin Kitchen.

Monday through Friday there are about six of us who meet at 6 and have breakfast before we go to work. Two of our group take turns and buy the Bradford Era. They read all the high lights to the rest of us and then we discuss the info. Tino's place at the corner of 4th and Broad has been sold and there soon will be a computer store there. It is rumored that the NAPA auto parts store is going to move in where Copy Katz used to be. Since the fire at NAPA there has been no auto parts available locally so NAPA has been providing service from its store in St. Marys.

Football season is winding down and the Super Bowl is nearing. It is mind boggling to think about how much money this event will generate. I wish some of it would rub off on me.

The Iowa dog and pony show is over. New Hampshire had its day in the sun and now Michigan, Florida, South Carolina and Nevada will host the hopeful candidates. The mud slinging has just begun, but will not really get vicious until after the conventions and each party has chosen its candidates.

The crop of contestants that have emerged so far don't make my heart beat any faster. Mama always told me to be patient and time will tell.

Voting has always made me feel good about myself as I have always thought that I have done my civic duty. I am going to have a hard time doing my civic duty this coming November. My track record voting for president has a lot to be desired as I haven't voted for a winner since I voted for Ike.

Sometimes election day brings about some really strange things. In the town of Showlow, Arizona in the year 1897 they had and election for the position of mayor.

This small town had just sprung up and did not have a name. Both candidates ended up with the same number of votes. To break this tie the two men played a card game called Showlow and the winner became the first mayor. The new mayor decided to name the town Showlow.

One hundred years later the office of mayor was on the ballot and again the candidates tied. Sticking to tradition they played a game of Showlow with the winner becoming the mayor.

Do you know what gasoline and milk have in common? They cost too much money. Gasoline does not spoil, but milk will. There is only one food that does not spoil and that is honey.

What do bulletproof vest, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? They were invented by women.

Dr. Allan Blackburn was a Captain in the U.S. Air Force and spent a tour at Eielson AFB 26 miles from Fairbanks, Alaska. I spent a tour at Elmendorf AFB just outside Anchorage, Alaska.

Allan got out when he had served his obligation and later landed here in Emporium and opened up his dental office on Fourth Street. I stayed in the Air Force and retired in 1971. Because I am retired Air Force, he sent me this E-mail.

This old gentleman got tired of sitting around the house and got a job at Wal-Mart as a greeter. He was really good at this job and he would also do extra things. The manager called him into his office one day and said, "Bob, you are the best employee that I have here at this store. The reason I called you in is because you are always 10 to 15 minutes late every day, the boss said. "You are retired from the Air Force are you not?" The old man nodded his head yes. The manager asked, "What did they say in the Air Force when you were late?"

The old man replied, "Good morning General."