Through An 'Old Timer's' Eyes
By Howard 'Mac' McDonald

With the coming of the political conventions, the mudslinging will be picking up as everyone looks into each other's background, hoping to dig up something

McCain will have a free ride, but Obama and Clinton will keep slinging and then the Republicans and the Democrats will attack each other after the conventions.

Ralph Nader has also said he is going to give it another try. We also have the Green Party, the Libertarians, the Independents and probably some others.

The ballot will probably have a space for write-ins. At this time, I am declaring that I am available as a write-in candidate for President. I defi- nitely will change the way this country is going.

My platform will be common sense. To get the economy going, we will stop all imports, raise our own food, make our own steel and drive no automobile that does not have any American-made powdered metal parts.

Alternate fuels have been around for centuries and I think that if they can make synthetic oil, like Mobil One, then they can make gasoline from it too.

We will stop supporting millionaire athletes who have chased middle class Americans out of the ballpark and we will go on a flat tax system where everyone pays his share, with no loopholes.

To save Social Security and Medicare, we will collect a one-cent surcharge on every purchase you make.

I would bring the troops home from Iraq and Afghanistan right now and I would have the B-52s flying overhead. I would let those people know that if one of our troops was killed on our exit, we would drop a nuke on their cities. After the troops got home and got their well-deserved rest, I would use them to seal our borders.

I believe if you are going to vote for a person you should know something about him. I was born in Pittsburgh on July 19, 1929. I didn't get to see my mom for two years, as she had tuberculosis. My dad, my brother and I lived with my grandmother. My sister went to live with my aunt.

I graduated from Elizabeth High School in 1948. I had a football scholarship to Tulane University but I turned it down. My folks were not too happy about that. Instead, I worked for three years, got married, joined the Air Force to escape the draft and stayed in for 21 years.

We came to Emporium in 1971 and after 16 years we moved to Arizona. The year 1999 saw us move back to Emporium.

My mother came from a French and Irish family that had been in this country for a long time. They lived in Allegheny County on a land grant from William Penn.

My father's family came from Scotland a long time back. My great-grandfather, Jim McDonald, married a full-blooded Cherokee Indian. That makes me one-eighth Cherokee and maybe I should claim my Indian rights.

Back to the election -- if I don't win, I could buy the Sizerville Inn and open up a casino. The guys from Liars Corner in the Cabin Kitchen would not have to drive so far to gamble. I might as well scalp them closer to home.

I imagine I would have a hard time proving my Indian rights. That whole side of the family is no longer on this planet. My father searched the family tree back to a great-great-great grandfather in Scotland. He lost interest when he found out the old codger was hanged for stealing a horse.

I'll bet the founding fathers would be spinning in their graves if I were elected President. All of the powerful empires only lasted a couple hundred years. We have passed them all, but will we survive? Time will tell.

I hope the weather is warm for the Easter sunrise services. Have a great holiday, don't eat too much Easter ham, and pray for our troops.