Graduation parties and alcohol

(Elizabeth Wood is a family counselor in Allegheny County and a mother of five.)

It's Graduation Season and, in all too many cases, Parental Irresponsibility Season.

Thousands of parents across Pennsylvania are confronted with a difficult choice - whether to tolerate, or even facilitate, underage drinking at graduation parties.

The solution is simple: just say no!

Under the law, parents can be prosecuted if minors drink alcohol on their property. Federal, state and local law enforcement officials across the nation are now linked in a mutual effort to enforce underage drinking laws. Your chances of being prosecuted have never been higher.

Teens, parties, and alcohol are never a good mix. Yet, 20 percent of 16- to 18-year- olds re- port that they have

attended a graduation party with underage drinking and parents present. And 15 percent of these teens say the alcohol was actually supplied by parents.

During the busy graduation season, your teen may be invited to a party where alcohol will be available to minors. Try taking these steps to keep your child alcohol-free:

Talk to the parents hosting the party and get details. Where is it? What time does it start and end? Who's invited? What activities are planned? Will there be adult supervision? What can I do to help?

Ask if alcohol will be served. If it's a party with guests over and under age 21, ask about their plans to prevent minors from drinking. If all of the guests will be under 21, ask about their plans to make sure that no one brings alcohol to the party.

Talk to your child about what to do if he finds himself at a gathering where alcohol is available to minors. Let him know that even if other teens are drinking, you expect him not to. Tell him that he should call you and you'll pick him up.

Parents are called upon to make difficult choices. It can be hard to tell your child "no" when she wants to go to the party that "everyone" is going to. You may wonder if your rules are too tough.

It's okay to be tough when it comes to protecting your kids. Not only is underage drinking a key factor in the two leading causes of teenage deaths -- car accidents and fatal injuries -- it also is linked with other risky behavior.

There's also the subliminal message that an adult sends to a teen by sanctioning a behavior that is blatantly illegal and inherently dangerous.

There are sound reasons that Pennsylvania's drinking age is 21.

Medical experts have found that the human brain is not fully developed in those under the age of 21; the underdevelopment is more pronounced in males.

Sections of the brain still under development in one's late-teens deal with judgment and the control of impulses -- a double-barrel risk when impaired by alcohol.

Graduation is intended to be a joyous occasion, but it can be dangerous and potentially tragic when it blends celebrating teens with alcohol.

It boils down to a test of you as a parent. Will you pass the test?